A lot of couples are finding it difficult to cultivate good connections with each other during this Covid-19 crisis. After all, we’re together almost constantly, but not finding many opportunities for quality interactions. Many people are feeling the emotional toll that this coronavirus is taking, and are lacking a sense of urgency to do anything about it. So, what can you do to protect your marriage at such a time as this?

Give Yourself Some Credit

First of all, can you and your spouse give yourselves a little credit? Recognize that this is a bizarre time in our lives and any disconnection we’ve experienced makes sense. It can be really helpful for us to allow our present emotional status to make sense for what it is. No judgment, no “shoulds”, just compassion toward your current situation.

Help Spark Deeper Connection

Next, as a couple, talk briefly about what might help spark deeper connection.

  • Can you identify an unmet need that feels like it could be helpful to have met?
  • Can you creatively design an at-home date where the kids are occupied, and you and your spouse can focus on quality time together?
  • Are there any projects that inspire you both that you might do together?

It’s really important that you both regularly take some time to check in with each other, get curious about your partner, and ask questions that help you better understand each other’s current emotional states.

Check-In Everyday

I’d also recommend that each day you begin to form this habitual thought question: How can I let my spouse know that I see them today?

Feeling seen is such a crucial part of any intimate relationship. It coincides with feeling known and understood. Imagine if our marriages functioned in such a way that both partners sought to see and understand the other every day.

 

We at Cedar Tree Counseling are wishing you health, safety, peace, and rest at this difficult time. If you need additional support, please feel free to give us a call. We’re here to help.

Matthew Hanlon

Matthew Hanlon

Men & Couples Therapist | MA, LMFT

I help men and their families, who are hurting, angry, and struggling to find their way through life’s challenges, to create real and lasting change.

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